Saturday, July 14, 2012

The Woes of Online Dating

I don't get out of the house much. My friends are either married or in relationships and they don't know single people to introduce me to. So meeting someone is really difficult. For the most part, being single is great, but there are occasions where I'm sitting on the couch, all my friends have plans with their significant other and there's this movie I'd really like to see. That's when I start to think having someone to do these things with would be nice.

And usually those are the nights that I cave and create a profile on a dating site. And then I'm rudely reminded of the pigs I have to sift through to find my frog.

Last night was one of these nights.

Here are some of the messages I've received over the last 12 hours.

Damn u r hot.

First off, if you don't have the time to spell out "you" and "are" then I don't have time for you. This was also the entire message. I'm swooning here, people. This message makes me want to respond so badly I'm quivering in my panties.


Instant turn OFF.

hi how r u i like to talk to u hit me up r text me at (then he gives his number)

Seriously? You really think that's going to get me to grab my phone and text you. Not only is this a blatant invitation for sexting, but you can't even write a proper sentence. What's it going to be like?

oh baby u make me so horny. 

My I.Q. just dropped writing that.

My favorite last night wasn't even a message. It was the profile picture. Yes, his face was actually in it, but right in front of what could have been a handsome face was a middle finger. Yep, he was flipping off the camera. You are sooooo someone I want talk to.

I'm not a prude. I cuss with the best of them. As for flipping people off...done it. BUT this is my first impression of you. ONLINE for that matter. I don't get to see your smile, or how your eyes may twinkle with mischief. The only personality I see is what you type down or show in a picture. And let me tell you, it doesn't work for this chick. At all.

I know online dating works. I know people who are happily married who met online. I'm just questioning how in the hell did you find each other. Did you have to weed through a jungle of crap too?  Deal with men who think so highly of themselves that they think giving a woman their phone number is like giving her the Holy Grail?

Gag me.

Now I'm off to delete my profile. Again.


  1. LOL Gawd, Abbey. It sounds like the guys who IM me in chat rooms. They IM me with such gems as "Hey, babe, you horny?" and "wanna watch me on cam?" And this is a social chat room, not one for "hook ups"

    When they learn I'm married, I get responses such as "So?" and "You have any single friends?" Yeah, like I'd hook up a friend with someone who starts off a conversation with "a/s/l"

    Hang in there. There ARE diamonds amongst the coal

  2. Been there, done that, bought a t-shirt. I have more horror stories with online dating than I care to admit (which, hey, is fodder for writing). It's rough having everyone around you married/attached.

  3. Oh, Maggie. I've had that happen when I'm trying to play cards online. It's awful! I'd like to met a diamond, doesn't even have to be MY diamond, lol, just someone to give me some freaking hope. They all seem to be married, lol.

  4. Katee, it is rough.

    I have horror stories too. Especially with guys who I thought might be a good guy, and actually went as far as to give my number to after talking for awhile. Yeah, that's when the true colors really start to show. Disheartening really.

  5. Big hugs, Abby!! I have to admit I wavered between cringing and laughing at your post. If nothing else, you're going to have concrete examples of what NOT to look for in a man.

  6. My best friend is struggling with the same issue. I think looking in places where you'd have shared interests is key. I've encouraged my friend to join online groups for things other than dating. But yeah, the freaks are always going to be out there.

  7. I met my hubby through, actually. So I can tell you for a fact it CAN and does work. :)

    For me, it was a matter of not thinking SO specifically that I whittled down the options. You'd be surprised - sometimes the perfect guy for you isn't one who would seem quite so perfect on paper. And yes, I went through a LOT of frogs...and a few pigs, too. Patience, a really, really, really good sense of humor and belief that there are really good guys on there can help you make it through.

    Don't let the pigs scare you off. The good ones are worth it. :)

  8. LOL. I'm single and tried online dating once...only once...because of this same thing. No one ever said "Damn u r hot" to me though, so now I feel a lil slighted. ;-)

  9. @Tina--Oh trust me, there is a lot of cringing on my side too. I have to find humor in it or I may cry, rofl!

    @Sandi That's really good idea. My best friend has tried suggesting something similar, but its going OUT to these single group outings. The idea horrifies me, lol. But I think I could handle an online interest group.

    @Jeannie. That gives me some hope. It really does. I'm getting so jaded on these site. Match isn't one I've tried yet. I have a profile over there, but haven't forked over the money to subscribe yet. I'm having a hard time justifying spending the money when all I've had is bad experiences. I'm waiting for another deal and I'm going to give it a try.

    @angela Don't feel slighted. The guys who are saying this are truly nothing to write home about, lol. And I would LOVE to share the one I just got. Didn't delete the profile yet. But Blogger may ban me if I post it. I simply blocked him. There are some men who really are just pigs.