Saying Goodbye

Yesterday we laid to rest a wonderful man and father. Today my roommate and best friend and her three kids will be try to get back into some sort of daily routine while still trying to grasp the tragedy that has befallen them.

Last week, the father of her children and the man she was married to for ten years passed away in his sleep. A brain aneurysm. At the age of 39. He would've turned 40 next week.

 I knew Jeff. I knew him well. After me and my husband separated, I lived with him and my best friend for a while as I searched for an apartment. He introduced me to Buffy. We'd spend hours on Saturdays, me sitting on the chaise, him on the couch, watching episode after episode while Heather was at work.

That was three years ago. Three years brings a lot of change. He and Heather ended up separating as well and I moved in here with my kids and Jeff moved out. 

But one thing never changed. Jeff.

He was a wonderful, loving man. A wonderful, loving father. He had a huge grin and gave it freely. He also had the best hugs you'd ever been given. He didn't just hug you, he squeezed you and you felt his affection all the way to your bones. I'll miss those hugs.

We are all devastated, but my devastation doesn't compare to what Heather and her kids are feeling right now. My heart aches for them. Aches for those kids.

This is the first time I've been truly touched by death. Yes, I've had grandparents die, and they were sad times to go through. But there was comfort in knowing they'd lived a long, full life with children, then grandchildren, and then great-grandchildren.

This. A man with so much life still ahead of him. I still can't wrap my mind around.

I've spent a lot of the week thinking...reflecting, feeling for the first time that anyone can be gone in a second. There are no guarantees we'll get to grow old, see our kids grow up, watch them get married, have kids of their own or, one day, have grandchildren to spoil.

Facing your mortality at the age of 35 is terrifying. I got damn lucky that I reached the age of 35 before having to really stare death in the face. The three kids left behind, my kids, who I had to sit down and explain what happened, wasn't lucky. They know. At the tender ages of 12, 9, and 8, they know that every one of us is dying. Could be in our sleep tonight or it could be when we're old and gray and a huge family of children and grandchildren surrounding us as we pass on. But we are all dying.

All we can do is live the life we have with the time we are given.

That exact line is in my upcoming book. Those words now give me chills. Why?

When I wrote them months ago, I truly didn't grasp their meaning. I thought I did. But I didn't. I do now. And I embrace them.

I, for one, have been changed this week. And I hope as time passes and we fall back into our daily lives, get caught up in the day-in-day-out, I don't forget how this tragedy has made me stop and reassess. Because I believe I have been changed for the better.

Jeff you left this world too soon. But if any positive has come out of your death, it will be you've made everyone realize you grab your happiness now. Don't wait for tomorrow. You helped simplify life. Bring into focus what is truly important, and that's living.

I promise myself to not take things so damn seriously. Have a lot more patience. Not yell as much. Let things go far more easily. Don't worry. Have fun.

Rest in peace, my friend. We will miss you.
Abby

Extreme Love 500 Goodreads TBR Giveaway

 

<---- Who wants to read this?

Stupid question, right? Just look at that cover! Let me just say three words:

Dante "Inferno" Jones. 

Dante is hotter than this cover! 

And I want to share him! In anticipation of my release, I'm giving away an eARC of Extreme Love. All you have to do to enter is add Extreme Love to your to-be-read list on Goodreads. Easiest contest ever!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

The giveaway is open until I reach 500 adds on Goodreads. A winner will be picked as soon as I do. The eARC will be awarded as soon as it becomes available!

Now share this hotness with all your friends!

Add the giveaway to your blog by adding the code.

Happy oogling!

Abby

 

The Woes of Online Dating

I don't get out of the house much. My friends are either married or in relationships and they don't know single people to introduce me to. So meeting someone is really difficult. For the most part, being single is great, but there are occasions where I'm sitting on the couch, all my friends have plans with their significant other and there's this movie I'd really like to see. That's when I start to think having someone to do these things with would be nice.

And usually those are the nights that I cave and create a profile on a dating site. And then I'm rudely reminded of the pigs I have to sift through to find my frog.

Last night was one of these nights.

Here are some of the messages I've received over the last 12 hours.

Damn u r hot.

First off, if you don't have the time to spell out "you" and "are" then I don't have time for you. This was also the entire message. I'm swooning here, people. This message makes me want to respond so badly I'm quivering in my panties.

Not.

Instant turn OFF.

hi how r u i like to talk to u hit me up r text me at (then he gives his number)

Seriously? You really think that's going to get me to grab my phone and text you. Not only is this a blatant invitation for sexting, but you can't even write a proper sentence. What's it going to be like?

oh baby u make me so horny. 

My I.Q. just dropped writing that.

My favorite last night wasn't even a message. It was the profile picture. Yes, his face was actually in it, but right in front of what could have been a handsome face was a middle finger. Yep, he was flipping off the camera. You are sooooo someone I want talk to.

I'm not a prude. I cuss with the best of them. As for flipping people off...done it. BUT this is my first impression of you. ONLINE for that matter. I don't get to see your smile, or how your eyes may twinkle with mischief. The only personality I see is what you type down or show in a picture. And let me tell you, it doesn't work for this chick. At all.

I know online dating works. I know people who are happily married who met online. I'm just questioning how in the hell did you find each other. Did you have to weed through a jungle of crap too?  Deal with men who think so highly of themselves that they think giving a woman their phone number is like giving her the Holy Grail?

Gag me.

Now I'm off to delete my profile. Again.